I've been putting off writing on this thing because I don't really want to accept or write about the fact that my Peace Corps experience has been put on hold... indefinitely. I don't want to talk in detail about what it is like to be back in MN in the middle of winter, having not had the chance to go back to Umer to get all my shit or (more importantly) say goodbye to anyone. Writing about all of this gives me a chance come to grips with the fact that I have NO idea what I want to do with myself (my life). It makes me think about the fact that I spent over a year preparing to become a PCV, and now, a mere 8 months in to it all, I am back in the states... bashfully explaining to people why I'm here. I'm embarassed; I forget this wasn't my choice or my fault (or anyone's). Bottom line: this situation SUCKS. And there's nothing I can do about it.
After two weeks of being in limbo (in Tanzania) the powers that be in DC decided that it would be better for us to be in limbo in the US (because... well... I won't speculate, but I don't necessarily feel that our best interest was in mind). I don't know what happened to all the options they gave us before. All the talk of humanitarian work, of site changes... we were given so much hope. And then were told that we, within the week, would either have to take interuption of service (IOS) and go back to the states indefinitely; take IOS and hang out in Africa (on our own dime) and wait for Kenya to reopen, or do a direct transfer to another country and "never look back," even if Kenya became OK again. Here I am. I'm waiting for PC to call and send me back to my site; I'm expecting PC not to call; I'm expecting that if they do call, they will not send me back to my site (something about them saying "going back to your site, at any point is HIGHLY unlikely" gave me that impression...). So... yeah. Damn.
They say they will send us weekly emails, updating us on the situation and our options. We'll see. I'm trying to enjoy the comforts that I thought I'd be doing without for the next couple years, as long as I'm here... it certainly is comfy:)
That's all for now... I'll let you know if, by some miracle, I end up on a plane somewhere warm (Kenya, please??) any time soon.